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Madeleine Begun Kane,
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JOHN ROBERTS, SAM ALITO, & U.S. SUPREME COURT HUMOR


Madeleine Begun Kane
 
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Bob Newhart Names Madeleine Begun Kane Winner of 2008 Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor

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Political Song Parodies

Welcome to my Justice John Roberts, Justice Sam Alito, Sonya Sotomayor, Harriet Miers, and the United States Supreme Court humor page!

  • Robin Ghivan Makes Me Cross "Alert the authorities: U.S. Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan has 'embraced dowdy as a mark of brainpower.' ..."

  • Why I’ll Never Be A Supreme Court Justice "As the Washington Post’s Valerie Strauss points out, the U.S. Supreme Court is packed with graduates of Harvard Law and Yale Law. ..."

  • Leery About Elena "Apparently, anti-Kagan attacks from the right have been inspiring some liberals to rally around her. ..."

  • Obama’s What??? "How amusing! We’ve moved from 'Obama’s Katrina' to 'Obama’s Harriet Miers.' ..."

  • Obama, Please Aim For Even Stevens
    "Great thanks to a judge I admire:
    Justice Stevens, alas, must retire. ..."

  • Ode To Odious Corporate Personhood "There’s nothing funny about the U.S. Supreme Court’s activist ruling in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission. ..."

  • Ode To Mark Krikorian "The National Review’s Mark Krikorian is having problems with Judge Sonia Sotomayor’s name. ...”

  • The Dreaded E-Word “President Obama recently used the e-word in connection with his yet-to-be-named U.S. Supreme Court nominee, and the Republicans were (or pretended to be) horrified. ...”

  • Karl’s Roving Standards (Double Limerick) “Nothing brings out Republican hypocrisy like a nice, juicy U.S. Supreme Court vacancy. Take Karl Rove, for instance, on Obama’s potential nominees to replace Justice David Souter: ...”

  • A Do-Over Supreme Court Test For Palin? "According to Fred Thompson, Sarah Palin’s inability to name a single Supreme Court case she disagrees with wasn’t her fault. ..."

July 3, 2006 Bush Isn't God. Who Knew?

  • Bush Isn't God. Who Knew?
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    The Supremes slapped George Dubya quite hard,
    Saying George, you ain't Czar, King, or God.
    Though our nation's at war,
    You can't break the law,
    So stop riding o'er Congress roughshod.

    My legal humor is here.

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April 13, 2006 Scalia's Stability Revisited

  • It's one thing for a Supreme Court Justice to refuse to recuse himself from a case involving his pal and hunting mate Dick Cheney. But it's quite another to practically brag about it:
    Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia on Wednesday called his 2004 decision not to recuse himself from a case involving Vice President Cheney, who is a friend of his, the "proudest thing" he has done on the court.

    Scalia's Stability Revisited
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    When questioned about his refusal
    To agree to a Dick case recusal,
    Scalia claimed pride
    That he didn't step aside.
    His sanity needs some perusal.

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March 29, 2006 (Ode To Scalia -- Limerick)

  • As John says, release the Scalia church photo:

    Ode To Scalia
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    Scalia's caught acting obscene,
    In a church yet, how shockingly mean.
    A photographer snapped it.
    His subject said, scrap it!
    It's time for that pic to be seen.

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January 30, 2006 (Personal Poems For Some Sam Alito Filibuster Holdouts -- Audio Version Is Here)

  • Do you think a personal poem might change a Senator's mind? Probably not, but it's worth a try. So I've written some personal verse for four of the Sam Alito filibuster holdouts: Senators Byrd, Landrieu, Akaka, and Nelson:

    An Open Limerick To Senator Byrd
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    Sen. Byrd you're at times quite inspired,
    Speaking words that I've often admired.
    Now it's time to help muster
    A Sam filibuster.
    If you don't, all our rights shall expire.

    An Open Limerick To Senator Akaka
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    Judge Alito's a dangerous man.
    You must block his vote, Senator Dan.
    He disdains all our rights,
    So please join Kerry's fight,
    And help stop Dubya's power mad plan.

    An Open Poem To Senator Landrieu
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    Senator Mary, it's time to act tough.
    Tell Georgie Dub that enough is enough.
    Our rights are at risk with Judge Sam on the bench,
    So block his appointment and act like a mensch.

    An Open Poem To Senator Nelson
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    Senator Nelson, I'm begging you please,
    Don't be a holdout and don't be a tease.
    On Alito's promotion, you must put the squeeze,
    Cause with Sam on that bench, all our freedoms shall cease.

  • You can find the audio podcast version of this post here. If you'd like to subscribe to my podcast feed, here it is.

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January 19, 2006 (If Not Now, Then When? -- Sam Alito In Verse -- Audio Version Is Here)

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November 1, 2005 (Four Sam Alito Limericks -- Audio Version Is Here)

  • Now that Harriet Miers is back doing whatever it is she does best (writing Bush mash notes and covering his tracks?) Bush has a new nominee to replace Justice Sandra Day O'Connor. And I'm afraid he's just the sort of extremist judge we feared a weakened Bush would come up with - 3rd Circuit Judge Samuel Alito. And that means it's time for some limericks:

    There Once Was A Judge Named Alito
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    There once was a judge named Alito,
    Who's often called Judge Sam Scalito.
    He's fond of state powers.
    At labor he glowers.
    The Dems must Alito's name veto.

    An Anti-Choice Judge Who's Named Sam
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    An anti-choice judge who's named Sam
    Tells the poor and the weak they should scram.
    If he takes Sandra's place,
    All our rights he'll erase,
    And the wingnuts will have a grand slam.

    Alito's A Yale Law School Grad
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    Alito's a Yale Law School grad,
    Whose rulings are right-wingnut rad.
    He disdains civil rights.
    For the big guns, he fights.
    On the bench he is far worse than bad.

    An Anti-Choice Judge Named Alito
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    An anti-choice judge named Alito,
    Whose votes show a pro-corp'rate credo,
    Often rules on the fringes,
    In far right-wing binges.
    Let's replace his court robes with tuxedos.

  • If you'd like to listen to the audio version of this post, just click here. And if you'd like to subscribe to my podcast feed, here it is.

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October 12, 2005 (Harriet's Song: Bush Is The Sunshine Of Her Life -- Audio Version Is Here)

  • As his relationship with Condi Rice proves, Bush likes working with musical women. So it's not surprising that Harriet Miers has expressed her schoolgirl crush on Bush in song:

    Harriet's Song: Bush Is the Sunshine Of Her Life (Sing to Stevie Wonder's "You Are The Sunshine Of My Life")
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    You are the best Prez in the land.
    That’s why I always shall be loyal.
    You are the smartest living man.
    I just can't wait to join the Court.

    I feel reborn each time you're winning,
    Cause I’ve loved you for a million years.
    And if I thought your reign was ending,
    I’d find myself buried in briefs and tears.

    You are the best Prez we have had.
    That’s why I'm blessed to be your friend.
    Your twins have such a way cool dad.
    I just can't wait to join the Court.

    You surely know I'll do your bidding.
    And I will come to your rescue.
    Cause when I've joined those Sup Court heathens,
    I'll make sure the law matches all your views.

    You make me feel like a young girl.
    That's why I'll always stand your ground.
    You are the best Prez in the world.
    And I can't wait to join your Court.

    © October 12, 2005 Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.

  • If you'd like to listen to the audio version of this post, just click here. And if you'd like to subscribe to my podcast feed, here it is.

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October 6, 2005 (Mired In Harriet Miers -- Audio Version Is Here)

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September 26, 2005 (Why Bother? Here's Why: -- Audio Version Is Here)

  • Earlier this month, I read several posts that bemoaned the futility of commenting on Judge John Roberts, since his Supreme Court confirmation is a foregone conclusion. I wrote a poem in response, but neglected to post it. (Roberts-related lethargy seems to be contagious.)

    But Friday's email brought me a reminder of my oversight -- a letter from former Governor Howard Dean, urging people to speak out against Roberts. Dean's letter says in part:

    ... Some people even say that it's useless for us to speak out against him. They say we're wasting our time.

    But how will we win any battle if we don't stand up for what we believe and speak the truth? More importantly, how will Americans know what to expect from a Democratic Congress and Democratic president if we don't fight for our values at every opportunity?

    And now, my nearly forgotten poem:

    Why Bother?
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    Judge John Roberts' confirmation
    Is a certainty, it's true.
    We're powerless to stop it.
    Yes, no matter what we do.

    But to those who say it's futile,
    Making fun of things I rue,
    I say it feels essential,
    And that you should do it too.

  • And speaking of my need to criticize Judge Roberts, I'm very disappointed in the three Democratic Senators on the Judiciary Committee who voted to recommend Roberts' confirmation as Chief Justice: Senators Kohl, Leahy and Feingold. Moreover, while I applaud Senator Harry Reid's decision to oppose Roberts, I have to quibble with his reason for voting "nay" and with his decision not to support a filibuster.

    Reid said that there are "too many unanswered questions about the nominee to justify a vote confirming him to this enormously important lifetime position." But while Roberts was certainly unforthcoming throughout his hearings, we actually know something about nominee Roberts that, in and of itself, justifies both a "no" vote and a filibuster. I'm referring to Roberts' serious ethical breach in failing to recuse himself from the three judge panel hearing the Hamdan v. Rumsfeld appeal, while interviewing for a Supreme Court nomination.

    The United States is a party to that case, which concerns the constitutionality of Gitmo military tribunals. So it was a conflict of interest for Judge Roberts to interview for a presidential appointment while that appeal was pending before him. As TalkLeft points out, judicial ethics and 28 U.S.C. § 455 mandated recusal. And that brings me to my Mr. Propriety limerick:

    Mr. Propriety?
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    Judge Roberts is a fan of propriety,
    And maintaining his impartiality.
    Yet on Hamdan he ruled.
    Does he take us for fools?
    His action's the height of hypocrisy.

  • If you'd like to listen to the audio version of this post, just click here. And if you'd like to subscribe to my podcast feed, here it is.

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September 14, 2005 (Two Judge John Roberts Limericks -- Audio Version Is Here)

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July 20, 2005 (Moot Court Limerick and other Supreme Court Shenanigans -- Audio Version Is Here)

  • I've been duped. Everything I read Tuesday afternoon about Bush's then upcoming prime time address, convinced me that George Bush would be naming Judge Edith Clement to replace Justice O'Connor on the U.S. Supreme Court. And I was far from the only lefty who expected Judge Clement to be Bush's choice. Of course, I'm probably the only one who wrote the decoy judge a limerick.

    I was planning to delete my Clement verse, but I figure I'll share it with you instead. Cause why waste a decent, albeit moot, limerick?

    Moot Court Limerick
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    Edith Clement, a New Orleans jurist,
    Is a hard right-wing, fed'ralist purist.
    As O'Connor's replacement,
    She'd be a debasement.
    Let's reduce her to Washington tourist.

    Since I was reading about the wrong candidate all day, I don't know much about Judge John Roberts, Bush's real nominee. But I wouldn't let a little thing like that stop me from versifying:

    Prime Time Distraction
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    In an effort at changing the subject,
    From Bush staffers like Rove who are suspect,
    Dub on prime time proclaimed
    That he's John Roberts named.
    If you like right-wing judges, he's perfect.

    Ode To O'Connor
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    There once was a Justice O'Connor,
    The first Sup Court Judge called "Her Honor."
    Now O'Connor's resigned,
    Putting Dems in a bind.
    At least Rehnquist is still not a goner.

  • If you'd like to subscribe to my podcast feed, here it is. Or if you'd like to go directly to the MP3 of this podcast, it's right here.

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June 14, 2005 (There Once Was A Compromise Deal -- Audio Version Is Here)

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June 8, 2005 (Dopey Decision Explained In Verse -- Audio Version Is Here)

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May 24, 2005 (The Immoderate Pact Song Parody)

  • After yesterday's wretched timing (posting my Don't Compromise song parody mere hours before the Senate "moderates" announced their compromise deal) I have to redeem myself with some fresh lyrics. So here's my Immoderate Pact song parody, which you can sing to "When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again," using this midi link. (And you can hear me sing it in this audio blog post.)

    The Immoderate Pact Song Parody (Sing to When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again)
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    The "moderates" made a voting pact.
    We're screwed, we're screwed.
    The "moderates" got their power back.
    We're screwed, we're screwed.
    Their deal betrays our democracy.
    We're stuck with dreadful nominees.
    And I don't feel gay cause
    The moderate Dems are hacks.

    The "moderates" claim they did what's right.
    We're screwed, we're screwed.
    Averted a constitutional fight.
    We're screwed, we're screwed.
    The filibuster was up for grabs.
    And now it's watered down for scraps.
    And I don't feel gay cause
    The Democrats lost this fight.

    © May 24, 2005 Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.

    UPDATE: Posting here will be spotty (if at all) during the next few days. However I'll be continuing to post news items, quotes of the day, blog posts of the day, feminist news and views, poll and survey info, and other stuff in my recently launched Mad Kane's New, Politics, & Humor Forum. I hope you'll stop by and join the conversation.

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May 23, 2005 (The Don't Compromise Song Parody)

  • Will there be a compromise over the judicial filibuster? I sure as hell hope not! Bill Scher over at Liberal Oasis explains why compromise is such a bad idea for Democrats, but Josh Marshall isn't nearly as horrified by the idea. Meanwhile, Political Wire has some info on the "moderates'" attempts to conjure up a deal, and Hunter at the Daily Kos gives us a mini history lesson on the background of the filibuster fight. And these two Lean Left posts provide more essential background and insights on the subject.

    So what do I have to offer on the subject? A song parody, of course -- The Don't Compromise Song, which can be sung to Let's Twist Again, written by Hank Ballard and made famous by Chubby Checker:

    The Don't Compromise Song Parody (Sing To Let's Twist Again)
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    "Let's compromise,"
    Words that make me shudder.
    Yeah, "let's compromise,"
    Words I've grown to fear.

    Dems must not fall for lies
    That the right-wing utters.
    They can't compromise
    With the GOP.

    Every deal they've made, the people's rights are undermined.
    It's time for Dems to fin'lly show some guts and spine.

    "Let's compromise,"
    Words that Dems shouldn't mutter.
    Cause if they do,
    Then the end is near.

                                             (MUSICAL BREAK)

    Don't compromise.
    Frist can not be trusted.
    No, don't compromise.
    Please hang tough, you hear!

    The Dems should keep in mind,
    Rights go in the gutter,
    When they compromise
    With the GOP.

    With each deal they've made, our people's lives are undermined.
    It's time for Dems to act with gumption, guts and spine.

    "Let's compromise,"
    Words that Dems can't utter.
    Cause if they do,
    Then the end is near.

    Cause if they do,
    Then the end is near.

    © May 23, 2005 Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.

    In case you missed them, my Injudicious Limericks about Bush's judicial nominees are here and my Filibuster Song is here.

  • As some of you know, I've had lots of security problems with my message board. So I've taken the plunge and launched a far more secure replacement: Mad Kane's Forum. I hope you'll stop by and join the conversation.

    UPDATE: Well, my timing sure could have been better. Shortly after I posted this anti-compromise song parody, the Senate "moderates" announced a compromise. And it's about as sucky as I would have expected. Here's a PDF copy of the deal.

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May 16, 2005 (The Filibuster Song)

  • Blogging is hard work. Who knew?

  • As the Senate heads for a showdown over George Bush's extremist judicial nominees, I figured a Filibuster Song might be in order. And I must confess to a perverse pleasure in setting it to the French-Canadian children's folk song, Alouette:

    The Filibuster Song (Sing to "Alouette")
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    Filibuster,
    Save the filibuster.
    Filibuster,
    Save Democracy.

    Frist would nuke Dems' voting rights.
    Dems must stop him. Fight, fight, fight!
    Voting rights,
    We must fight.
    Voting rights,
    Wield our might.
    Oh.

    Filibuster,
    Save the filibuster.
    Filibuster,
    Save Democracy.

    (According to this AP analysis, seven GOP senators are key in the filibuster fight.)

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April 5, 2005 (Nix The Nuclear Option)

  • My quickie poem about Senator Bill Frist being poised to launch the "nuclear option" against the Senate filibuster:

    Nix The Nuclear Option
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    With taunts and threats and lots of bluster,
    Frist takes aim at the filibuster.
    If he somehow nuke-vote musters,
    Democracy shall lose its luster.

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